Knowing Doesn’t Always Help

I have had a LONG journey with my aunt.  It began many years ago when I would visit her every time I went to Disney (she was living in Tampa at the time.)  Before Tampa, I would visit her and Uncle Mike in St. Petersburg.  After he died, our visits became more special as she was really lonely down there.

Then, several years ago, she moved back to Munster.  She didn’t have to worry about seeing me once a year, we had a chance to see each other at least weekly.  Then, when her cancer/health became worse, it turned into seeing her every other day or even daily.

Now, she is at Riley House still praying to die soon.  The nurse, this morning, told us that she doesn’t think it’s going to be right away because my aunt is a very strong person.  It probably won’t be more than a couple weeks; however, that couple of weeks is going to be really tough.

Knowing that someone is going and preparing for it are two different things.  Also, knowing that someone is going but not going quick enough for them, especially with the pain level as it is now (a constant 10 even on pain meds), that just makes it really hard.

I don’t feel bad about praying that my aunt dies.  I just feel bad for her every day that she is still alive.  Come on, Lord, do you thing and bring her home to you.  She’s had more than enough.

One Reply to “Knowing Doesn’t Always Help”

  1. When Frank and my son Tim died (both ‘sudden’), I always said
    “It’s much better for those who die ‘sudden’, but for the ones left behind it’s really a struggle”. For those who don’t die for a long time, it’s really hard on them, as they know how hard it is. Your Aunt is suffering, and death will be a ‘release’. Of course you will miss her! But you and I know that the suffering is over and that she will always be near whenever we need. So… be grateful.

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